animal vegetable mineral

I was supposed to be going to see tiny baby cows. Apparently, Eddie the Dexter only reaches your knee ... which doesn't seem very cow-like to me. In fact that very notion brings me to my main point, dear reader ... well actually not a point but a series of questions. Yes, I seek enlightenment, and that's where you come in.

You see, either there is something wrong with my vocabulary or with the English language. I want to say that Eddie is a cow, even though he is or will be when he grows up a bull. But to me, cow is the general cover term: a female cow is a cow, and a male cow is a bull. I can't use the word cattle to refer to a specific cow-or-bull. Can you?

This got me to thinking about other animals I am not so sure about. I don't know what a pony is. I mean I can recognise one out in a field, but I don't have a proper definition of one in my head. Is a pony just a short horse? Or is it some separate species? Do some horse parents just have pony babies like some weak gene? (Does the mare look at the stallion and think, well pony-ness doesn't run on my side of the family? Or do you need a mummy pony and a daddy pony to make a pony?

And what about sharks and dolphins? Are they both mammals even though they seem very fish like to me ... Is there a separate category that includes dolphins and sharks, and how does that relate to whales. Whales and dolphins seem similar to me, but I guess I am categorising them by disposition, they seem friendly and orientated towards peaceful fun ... whereas sharks are just nasty. And as for Orca, they seem like sharks pretending to be whales pretending to be sharks. I mean they used to be called killer whales which implies that killing is quite unusual behaviour for whales. There is no equivalent killer sharks because the opposite is true, sharks that aren't constantly eating surfers, swimmers etc are the rarity.

And what about eels? Are they fish? Or stingrays?

This gets me onto tomatoes and avocados, fruits or vegetables? I know the scientists say that they are fruit, and have some reason that escapes me about the seeds ... but tomatoes are definitely a vegetable for me because the likelihood of heating before eating is about 50/50. That is my taxonomy does admit grey areas, but it is the possibility of being consumed raw that separates the fruit from the veges. The higher likelihood of being eaten cooked seems to make you a vegetable. What about salad leaves, you say? Yes they pose a problem for my system, but they seem to be a separate subcategory of vegetables.

So dear readers, how do you organise the natural 'kingdom'? Help me out here ...